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Well, I'm sure this article certainly won't help my long term chances to win this contest. However, perhaps if both shows really tank, then I can just dump them and only lose $2 Million bucks. That's ok, right?
However, said article certainly doesn't bode well for my thesis hypothesis. Crap.
Oh for the love of the lord - I ran into this guy last night while having a drink before a Genesis concert. A Genesis concert in which my friend and I got reprimanded for talking too loudly by the fat ass and his 80's wife in front of us. And before you ask, no, the concert was not at a library. Unfortunately for that couple, no one else around us found that we were talking too loudly and I may or may not have spilled a soda on the floor that leaked under his chair. Oops. Of course, he may or may not have told on us to the usher who came to talk to us about our behavior - which after the time he yelled at us
AHole: If you are going to talk, go do it in the concourse.
Me: Seriously? What?
AHole: Yeah, seriously, leave.
Us: Hee - we just got told to be quiet at a concert. Let's be really annoying now with our cheering.
In any case, we explained our version of events to the usher and noted that said usher could easily check with other concert goers around us to confirm that we were not doing anything unsavory. It was completely surreal. And, perhaps we were sort of talking, but not so that people couldn't actually hear the music. I mean, it was loud in that place!
Assholes. Oh - and as a side note - barrett clips from 1982 are really inappropriate.
chattyDear Hoyden,
I am going to attend a prominent university this fall and I am very nervous.
I have never been away from home and I would like some helpful hints on how to succeed at college. Do you have any advice for me?
Sincerely,
College bound in VA
Dear CB in VA,
I too went away to a prominent university one fall many a year ago and I completely understand your fears. Hopefully, the following will allow you to find success and happiness at aforementioned PU.
Always make sure you go to class. Even if you are drunk. You don't have to pay attention, but trust me, it is a lot easier to get professors to give you a break on grades if they know who you are. An offshoot of that point, make friends with your professors (not in THAT way) but remember, they are people too. They're probably just as hungover as you are! And hey - truth be told, if you had to deal with a bunch of overprivileged college kids who have more in their trustfunds than you'll make in a lifetime, you would drink too.
As for your social life, this can make or break you. I'm assuming from your note that you haven't really had that much experience attending parties with alcohol. Perhaps you and a couple of friends snuck into a Frat party once and split a Boone's Farm, but for the most part, you seem to be a drinking virgin so I'll let you in on the following keg party tips:
#1: Keg Stand - you can drop the spigot, but usually someone else is holding it, so it sprays - can be messy
#2: Shot Gun - well, this can just get messy too, but you can also plug the hole with your tongue if it is too fast (this is done with a beer can and has nothing to do with the keg - practice with a coke first if you feel you must)
#3: Funnel - another one that you can plug with your tongue - but if your tongue is too small, well, then that could be messy as well - make sure to hold the funnel well above your head for maximum funnellage.
#4: Ice Luge - provided you have someone only pouring a normal sized shot in the luge part, then you should be all set - no different than drinking a shot, but for the fact you are sitting below the funnel-y part. (Note: beware of people pouring more than a shot's worth - can get messy and super drunk)
#5: Pumping the keg - if the beer starts pouring slowly, make sure to pump the keg - this involves quickly pushing the tap plunger up and down in a repeated motion.
#6: Tapping the keg - this is best left to an experienced party-goer. Find that person and learn from them.
#7: Drinking Games - there are many games played to enhance the speed at which you are imbibing alcohol. Some of them are as follows:
As always CB, it is important to have as much fun as possible when you leave home and attend PU. Because, trust me, you will never have as much time to have no real responsibility as you do in college. In fact, I would stay there as long as you can get your parents to pay for it.
If any other readers have advice, please feel free to comment!
Lates,
Hoyden
After the rocky start to my week, things seem to be looking up. Here are a number of reasons I have to be happy.
I am not a widow with 2 kids
I am not in debt to a drug dealer for a large amount of money
I am not working off that debt by being said drug dealers slave
I have not ever had to do a 'brick dance'
I have not been unwittingly (or wittingly) involved in a drive by
I am not working for a sleazy business man (well mostly not)
I am not harboring a trunk of heroin in my house
See what watching several episodes of Weeds can do to perk up a person's outlook on life?
I've been so tired and unmotivated these past couple of weeks. I think it is starting to show in more than just my lack of blog postings, but I'm not really sure how to go about getting back on track. I have long been a believer that your attitude about things really does affect how you deal with adversity, but lately it has been hard to keep up appearances.
I wish I could pinpoint exactly what is causing this overall malaise but in fact it is more of a perfect storm of recent life experiences that has lead me to this place. A place of irrelevance. Professionally, personally, spiritually. I think that is the worst place to be. Neither hated nor loved. Just irrelevant.
Nothing seems to be moving forward. As if the last 8 years of my existence haven't really produced anything other than debt. I know this is all awfully self indulgent and whiny, but I've got to get it out somehow. This built up frustration without an outlet is probably what is doing the most harm. Simmering just below the surface and becoming exacerbated by any change in routine.
So, I write these types of entries. In the hopes that by sending it out into the world that I will somehow release these frustrations and be able to reconcile all the different parts of my life - the aforementioned professional, personal and spiritual.
I'm sure I feel better already - see, I'm even back to the positive attitude and that's at least part of the battle. Right?
#1 Went to Target
#2 Watched some America's Next Top Model (cycle 8)
#3 Set up wireless internet access on my work laptop
#4 Watched Adventures in Babysitting
#5 Upgraded my AIM software
#6 Built my AIM 'wee' avatar
#7 Spent time IM'ing my roommate who was sitting on the other couch
#8 Playing NTN Buzztime trivia and bitching about those assholes from Baltimore
#9 Drinking a number of Miller Lites
#10 Watching a late game Yankees rally
What? Don't judge me. I said I DIDN'T do any of those things this Friday instead of going out.
with the sound of bitching! (I know even for me that was bad.) But seriously, I don't know how anyone wouldn't get hooked on The Hills. Watching it is pure entertainment, but reading the weecaps is even more awesome. Check out the excerpt from televisionwithoutpity.com below:
Spencer and Brody roll into the jewelry store looking for some "bling." Oh for Pete's... Spencer makes a big dramatic show of the obnoxiously large ring he's picking out and how he should affix a tracking device to it, "so Heidi doesn't lose it." Sure, that too. Brody must've let him use the credit card anyway, because Spencer's like, "Sold. Wow. Done. Ready to get engaged." He buys the ring, making sure everyone knows he's buying the fattest diamond in creation, and then showily refuses the receipt, because he won't need it. That scene gave me hives. And a rage disorder.
I must admit that Joe R completely captured my reaction to that scene. If you aren't watching it, you should. Unless you are watching Weeds at that time, in which case, Tivo it. It isn't like there's much to watch any other night of the week!
Seems like karaoke talent runs in the family!
I have this CD compilation that I listen to every now and again called Women and Songs 2. It was originally an import from Canada and has a number of great artists featured. There are several tracks that speak to me on occasion, but recently, I've come back around to the following song.
Amanda Marshall's "Birmingham"
Virgil spencers got a nineteen-inch hitachi
And many demons lingering
Friday night he pulled a gun to change the channel
Something that he picked up from a kid
His wife remembers well the man she knew
Seems the dreams she had have all turned black and blue
Shes wasted years
No time for tears
Cause theres another chance and a someday soon
Shining like the alabama moon
Shes looking for her promised land
Out beyond the lights of
Birmingham
Its three a.m. and virgils passed out on the sofa
A fifth of jim beam on the floor
Shes packed a bag she slips the keys out of his pocket
Shes careful not to slam the door
And as she drives she rubs her rosary
Shes never been so all alone shes never felt so free
Shes got miles to go
Blind faith and hope
Cause theres another chance and a someday soon
Shining like the alabama moon
Shes looking for her promised land
Out beyond the lights of
Birmingham
As the rain falls down upon the interstate
Any doubts she had are all but washed away
One long look back
At birmingham
Cause theres another chance and a someday soon
Shining like the alabama moon
Shes looking for her promised land
Out beyond the lights of
Birmingham
For some reason, even though this song paints sad pictures of a life, it has always given me a sense of hope. It is as if the song says there's no point in your life that you can't affect the outcome. It reminds me that there is a whole world out there beyond your current experiences.
There's been a lot of talk in the past several years about censorship of what we should or should not see/hear on broadcast television. Obviously, we are all familiar with nipple gate and the subsequent repercussions-Nicolette Sheridan and that Eagle, all live shows being tape delayed by as much as 5 minutes. Because, I mean, God forbid that our children might hear a curse word and then we'd have to explain to them how that wasn't a word to be used in everyday conversation - or that they would see something slightly risque, thus forcing us to talk to them about sex or drugs or anything for that matter instead of silently hoping that someone else was going to do the hard job of raising society's children, instead of stepping up and doing it ourselves. Where is that communication? The kind that I had growing up where my parents were, for the most part, open and honest about what was going on in the world around me? Of course it was hard and difficult sometimes and they wanted to protect me and keep me safe, but not to the point of sheltering me from all aspects of life because that is how we grow as people.
All that being said, I've noticed something about communication today. We don't need the FCC to censor us because we do it ourselves, all the time. Take blogging for example - when we start out, we want a place to express ourselves, a place to chronicle our thoughts and feelings which we are too afraid to put out there to real people. It is a double edged sword though, because we want people to read what we have written and share in our common experiences. Until there comes a point where we start to get worried about how these same people will view what we've written and the site becomes no longer about expressing ourselves, but instead about expressing something that we think other people would want to read about.
Should I say this? Is this too boring? Too narrow? Will people like me? What if so and so sees this post?
In fact, I'm doing it right now. Should I actually post all of this? What if someone takes it the wrong way? Like the person in Dublin who stops by on occasion. Will this person be offended by what I've written or will they understand the meaning behind my thoughts? Does it even really matter?
I guess it all comes down to the attempts we make at being honest. Everyone we meet (online or off) probably has just as many questions running through their heads. All we can do is try to break through all the clutter so that our message is heard. It may not be successful all the time, but the real failure would be to stop trying.
