about the time I incited a bus riot? I didn't?
Well, I guess now is as good a time as any.
About 3 or 4 years ago, I was visiting my lovely friend M in her hometown of Yonkers, NY. I boarded the Amtrak train very early in the morning to begin my journey. I was sure that I was in for a wonderful weekend of debauchery. Little did I know how right I was.
Saturday came and it was determined that we would be going up to an Octoberfest field party being held by one of the local colleges. We took buses to the site from the school to make sure there was no drinking and driving. Good plan, right? Not exactly.
The party was fun. Tons of beer. Decided lack of bathroom facilities, everything you expect at a college gathering. It was late in the day and most of us in our little group--which was about 4 or 5 of us were pretty drunk. We made it onto one of the last buses, of which the guy to girl ratio was about 45 to 6, respectively. Did I mention that everyone was drunk? Good.
So, we are off, heading back to campus and everyone is quite gregarious. That is when this one particular chant seems to waft above the rest of the bus chatter.
"Show us your tits."
"Show us your tits."
"Show us your tits."
"Show us your tits."
Me (In a decidedly quiet voice)--"Who are they talking to?"
My friends: "I don't know."
Me (In a decidely NOT quiet voice)--"Who the fuck are y'all talking to?"
Now, I would like to point out that while I was drunk, I really only said something b/c I couldn't believe what was being chanted and was worried that they were harassing someone in particular and felt that was completely uncalled for.
Uh oh...and now they were, ME. The chants continue. I get smart and think of a clever retort that I will very soon regret.
"Fine, you are so down with this, why don't you show us your dick?" I said to the leader of the drunkie mcdrunkersteins.
I immediately realized this was the worst possible thing to say b/c guys rarely have a problem producing such a sight and this time was no exception. So, they definitely expected some reciprocation, which at the time, I was totally not down with.
Have I mentioned yet what my friends were doing? All of whom, minus M, I had JUST met? Well, they were not too pleased, but being the loyal sort, were ready to back my ass (or in this case tits) up. The unfortunate part? We made up 4 of the girls on the bus and only 1 of the guys. Gulp.
Things at this point had sort of escalated to a fever pitch when we noticed the bus has stopped in a parking lot. A NY STATE POLICE parking lot. Uh oh. You can almost hear the Dragnet music as the troopers got on the bus to see what the problem was. While a couple of people tried to explain, I am sure he rightly deduced that the main issue was that we were all drunk. All 6 girls were asked to get off the bus. (on a side note, this also allowed for us to get a much needed bathroom break, which was really good accident prevention, for me anyway.)
When the girls were allowed to board the bus again, we had to sit in the front, away from the boys and were told that if there were any more issues that we would all be arrested (not just the girls, but everyone.) That part was not fun. Nor was the last 30 minutes of that bus ride which seemed to last forever due to the fact that not a single person I knew was really talking to me.
Hmmm...I wonder why that was? Perhaps because I am a total ass? Possibly. In any case, the incident has long since been forgiven (sorry everyone) but not forgotten. But, how many other people can say that they incited a bus riot in NY? Ok, fine, well at least incited such an event for that retarded of a reason, then.
Posted by Morgan
at 5:36 PM EDT