Melrose Place and other Shenanigans
Every year at Christmas I usually ask members of my family what they would most like to receive as a present (besides world peace, obviously) because I truly believe that the fun of the holiday (not the religious part, which is the most important, again, obviously) is giving your loved ones things that they totally love but would NEVER, EVER buy for themselves. Well, for several years running, no one ever seemed to actually ask me what I wanted - at first I thought this was some slight brought about by certain amounts of plotting between my mother and sister, both of whom surely wish I would find some nice boy to date and marry (sorry guys, that's another topic entirely) when in fact, I think it stems more from the fact that they shop all year for Christmas gifts, unlike the slacker me (re: no boyfriend, house, etc...) who waits until about the 2nd week in December to complete her shopping.
Ok...I'm totally digressing, but I thought I would give some background...so, this year, my mom made it a point to ask me what I wanted. So, I told her. Season 1 of both Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place. Two dvds I had actually been secretly (ok, fine, not so secretly) waiting to own.
While I see 90210 in repeats all the time, It had been a number of years - 15 to be exact - since I had seen Jane, Michael, Matt, Rhonda, Billy, Jake, Allison and yes, even Sandy, strutting around that fabulous apartment complex that practically none of them would have been able to afford based on their reported occupations. Michael was a sweet resident doctor, Jane was just cutting her teeth in the fashion world (only after a miscarriage), Jake was a motorcycle mechanic (but thanks to Jo was a shop proprietor before seasons end getting him ready for Shooters), Billy was a cab driver and aspiring writer, Matt worked at a halfway house (from which he got fired after he was beaten up by some gay bashers and then rehired when he sued them for wrongful termination - all in two episodes!), Rhonda taught aerobics (which really only served to assault the audiences eyes thanks to her onesies), Sandy was an actress (imagine that, perhaps she could have worked on her southern accent) and Allison was a receptionist at an advertising agency (and not really a good one).
Oh, how young and innocent they all were. It almost brought a tear to my eye, until I realized I was crying because I used to think that Andrew Shue was so hot AND talented. I could maybe still give you the hot, but I just can't do the talented. I've watched roughly an entire day of that show and he has spent most of it either looking constipated or well, I'm just going to stick with constipated. In that year alone, Billy was carjacked after taking a nice old lady down to south central and then making a comment about 'you people' which incensed Rhonda only to be resolved at the end of the episode with a drive about town in Billy's cab all the while poor Andrew Shue emoted about to the level of bark next to a bump on a log. Then came the assault of Allison when the car she was driving got carjacked (she had borrowed it from her former adulterer boyfriend), I already mentioned that Matt was beaten up for being gay and that Jane had a miscarriage. Michael delivered a baby which taught him the meaning of life.
Tons of good soapy stuff but I guess it wasn't enough for the viewers since before the end of season 1, we were introduced to Sydney, Jo, the unforgettable Kimberly and we said goodbye to Sandy and Rhonda (and kind of Matt, too, but then you hardly ever saw him anyway even though he was on the show for the entire run)- all before adding the queen of mean, Heather Locklear, who in her first couple of episodes was actually kind of nice. Until she decided that she wanted Billy for herself (in hindsight, I can't imagine why) and deciding Allison was kind of a whiny bitch (which she totally was). Then there was Jo - who other than Rhonda was the only chick on the show without blonde hair - which obviously meant she was from New York, had a past and quite possibly could be dangerous. I'm surprised they didn't have her smoking when she arrived. They certainly made a big deal about her carrying a handgun. Sydney was already kind of insane and single white female-y with Jane until they became friends again after two episodes and she left LA (oh, if only Jane knew what she was in for, but at least Sydney wasn't blonde). Kimberly was a total recurring character, although from the very beginning it was made clear that she had the hots for Michael and his sort of mullet (nothing like Billy's though). I have to admit, upon re-watching the first season, I am much more impressed with Grant Show - there was a super scene with him and Ben Stein as a loan officer that was pretty good. I think perhaps I missed the nuances of Grant's performances in the past b/c he had his shirt off a LOT. Except for the time in the same episode when Jo offers him money to buy the bike shop and he gets so pissed that he starts throwing full bottles of beer angrily in the garbage. I don't CARE if it WAS Coors Light...there is just no explanation for acting in that manner.
Looking back on that first season who would have thought that the show would have ended up being the cultural icon it ended up being? And, don't tell me it wasn't...I dare you to find someone who hasn't at least heard of the wig-ripping scene. I. DARE. YOU.
Season 2 is out Tuesday. See you at Best Buy!
Posted by Morgan
at 3:48 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 27 April 2007 4:30 PM EDT
