Mary Kay -- Enriching Women's Lives*
Tuesday night I had quite an array of experiences, beginning with a trip to a local high school for a Mary Kay 'Success' Party where I was to get a facial and a makeover.

Let me set the scene. I had agreed to go with my friend Alexis as she was doing a favor for another friend. (Isn't that how these things always go?) In any case, we arrive at the high school a little bit early and head to the restrooms immediately. I have to say, either high school kids are getting shorter or I somehow grew an awful lot in the 10 years from graduation until now b/c those stalls were short. Alexis and I could see each others shoulders when standing up in our own stalls. (please note, I am only 5'5 on a good day) After the bathroom, we began to wander down the hall to find the room we were supposed to meet in.

When we get there, there is a lovely woman there to greet us wearing these massive sunglasses with the letters MK on them in rhinestones. She was very peppy. We then saw Alexis's friend and were told that we were the first ones there and just to have seat and fill out the rest of these cards, which we did. The first thing we noticed was that everyone we saw was a Mary Kay rep and they were insanely peppy. As we sit there, we start to wonder where all the other non-MK women were? Turns out, we were experiencing, as stated above, a 'success' meeting. Which is basically a time when the local reps get together and clap and rejoice over that month's sales, etc.

This rejoicing includes, but is not limited to the following:
jumping up and down
squeals of delight
excessive clapping
tiaras
banner sashes w/titles
hand raising
mock stage walking, complete with Miss America waves
passing around of diva sunglasses for all to try on (this was mandatory)
music--C&C Music Factory, Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen, The Pointer Sisters

Now, I admit that while I do enjoy learning about new body/face care products, I do not enjoy the whole scene of excessive happiness and joy. Especially when it seems like everyone else in the room has bogarted the kool-aid and left none for the rest of us.

We get into the actual presentation--at least our part, which includes 'washing' our faces half and half with two separate cleansers and then applying our own make-up! Now, that is not a make-over. At least as far as I am concerned. (PS, my parents used to own a Body Shop skin and haircare store so I do know a bit about the industry. Can't someone else do my make-up?) So, under the fabulous science lab florescent lighting, we set to apply our make up from cardboard handout samples. Needless to say, we ended up looking a bit clownish b/c how do you really put on blush with something other than a good brush?

Once we got through all the make-up and were ready to complete the evening, we were told we now had to model for the other 4 MK ladies. So, we had to get up in front of the room, with our clown make-up. They also made us do the Miss America wave. It was disturbing and not at all embarrassing. At. All.

We totally thought we could go home after that. Wrong. We were asked to stand and go around the room and tell everyone something that we were excited about. While listening to 'I'm So Excited'--I mean, was I in the twilight zone? Who really does this? Apparently the folks at MK, do. (Note: I was excited about moving. Alexis: softball starting)The whole event was so surreal and not like the kind of MK parties I had been to in the past b/c we were outnumbered 2 to 1 by consultants. It was wacky. And too peppy. I just don't trust people that are so excited about inanimate objects and seemingly on speed. Just something about it that is off-putting to me. Although I am sure my alcohol intake might be off-putting to some, so I guess to each her own.

The good news is that the evening of 'pampering' was balanced by having to fix a flat tire at 9:30pm thanks to the nail that apparently pierced Alexis's tire.

*This is in no way a slam on the products or the individuals who we met. All were very nice...although perhaps too nice...

I will pay the entire tab IF
you can tell me who sings 'Once Bitten Twice Shy'

This is what Molly stated to us about halfway through the 80's hair band evening that was Toxic Mouse. And believe me, this was not to be taken lightly. Ordering two rounds at once for $4 a beer over 5 hours, we knew the gauntlet had been thrown.

Lucy made a couple guesses which were incorrect. I attempted to employ the assistance of another patron in hopes that Molly was already too drunk and/or to enthralled with the hair band shenanigans that she wouldn't notice. Unfortunately I was wrong. She totally caught me and stated that I was disqualified.

I can say for a fact that this was the only low point in an evening filled with 80's hair band goodness. The bass guitarist was Asian, the lead singer was African American, the lead guitarist was really old and the drummer seemed to be having a LOT of trouble with his Gene Simmons wig. All that being said, this was by far one of the best evenings of my whole life. They knew how to ROCK! They played for over 2 hours. The best songs from groups like Guns N Roses, Def Leppard, Living Colour, Bon Jovi, Motley Crue, Whitesnake, Van Halen, Skid Row and of course the answer to the original question, Great White.

This band really went all out, the clothes, the atmosphere, even the microphones had those long ribbon things tied to them that you always saw back in the day. The evening was only enhanced by the sheer joy that Molly was getting out of seeing these songs performed live. It was like going to all these concerts at once! Now, even though she would have enjoyed hearing more Skid Row, she wholeheartedly proclaimed the evening as 'The greatest night of my whole life.'

I highly recommend getting to one of their shows. It was really awesome. What I don't necessarily recommend is double fisting on a tab, as even though the show was cheap with $10 admission, the $165 tab was a little excessive. But hey, wasn't that what the 80's were about anyway?

Move Over Caesar
So, for the 6 of you that read this, you know that I have a love for the Caesar salad bar and that love is a great one.

However, today I met a new interest. Taco salad bar. I don't know if it will last, but you TSB have certainly been good to me this afternoon. With your crispy tortilla chip goodness, your queso, your carne and your ranch dressing (and no, I don't know the spanish for ranch dressing.)

You have made my hangover go away and for that, I thank you.

April Fools Day
and I am pretty sure I am the fool.

Did I really need to be out until 2am and spend a total of $100, plus $11 for parking today b/c I couldn't suffer through the metro? Probably not. Was it a good time? Definitely.

Someone at work was celebrating a birthday, so we went to the Chop House for drinks and since they only have 'special' beer I ended up spending the night with my friend The Captain. What started out as a nice happy hour ended in debauchery and 80's music.

The last song I heard before realizing that it was 1:30 and I needed to go home was Thriller. Man, what a great song. Oh how times have changed.

So that brings me to today. I have currently ingested the following products in hopes of getting rid of my massive hangover:

gatorade
advil (2) possibly more later
water
apple juice
2 eggs
2 turkey sausage links
1 coke
a snack size package of Dots (which I am pretty sure pulled out all of my fillings, but tasted really good at the time)

I have to recover, however, b/c I am going to see Toxic Mouse this evening and I am so looking forward to that. Lucy already asked who was going to pick up the AquaNet!

Poor Mrs Federline
Well, I am not really sure how I feel about this entry on Britney Spears' website.

On the one hand, I am sort of incensed that she is getting so upset as she is the one who chose the life she is currently leading and therefore should be able to take living under a microscope. She has also, in the past, put herself out there more than most b/c it was good for her career. She had to be more of a 'personality' b/c her talent, well, doesn't exactly speak for itself. (although I admit, I do enjoy her music on occasion but please don't tell anyone.)

On the other hand, I am just not that interested in whether or not she is pregnant or her husband is cheating on her or whatever (although any man that leaves a pregnant woman for another should never be trusted, I'm just saying) and I can understand why she would get upset. I mean, think how much we get irritated when people think false things about us.

I am an avid reader of US Weekly and fully understand that many of the pictures they show and articles they print are not wholeheartedly true. I guess you could say that I read them with a grain of salt. Sure, I like to read about what celebrities are up to or perhaps what fashion choices they have recently made and who they are dating, but I don't think that is who those people really are. I do admire those celebrities who can take the publicity though, both good and bad, b/c they know that it goes with the territory.

Perhaps some of the younger stars get so angry b/c they haven't figured out who they are. Or perhaps there is some truth to the rumors. Who knows really? But in this post one thing is for sure, she comes off sounding like an adolescent.

Internet Radio Revival--UPDATED--AGAIN
I take back what I said the other day. The first song I heard on the 90's station when I tuned in today was 'Ice Ice Baby' and well, you just don't get more 90's than that.

I don't care how many current songs they play now that I have heard that gem...and by 'gem' I mean horrible song I know every single word to.

PS--the station doesn't have to follow FCC regs, so now they are playing 'Don't Want No (short dick man)'
I mean, 'eeny weeny teeny weeny shriveled little short dick man' No one writes lyrics like that anymore (or they do, but they just aren't broadcast.) AWESOME! What a great song.

Barbie Girl is now playing. How would I get through my day at work dealing with invoices without such fabulous tunes? That is right, I don't know either.

Easter Sunday
Yes, this past weekend was Easter and I hope everyone reading this had a great one. I had a pretty cool Easter weekend. Most of which was spent packing up my apartment and indulging in a few adult beverages; however, Easter afternoon itself was a fabulous experience.

So, I went over to my future roommate's parents' after spending about 5 hours packing (hello stuff I thought I lost but has now resurfaced.) I arrived over there to a flurry of activity, dinner was just about to be served. Now, I don't know about you, but I came from a fairly traditional Catholic (please, no hate mail) family where we would have ham and German potato salad, corn casserole, etc for our Easter feast (oh and mimosas or pina coladas, whichever my mother was wishing for me to make.)

Dinner yesterday was a little different and consisted of chicken, rice, cheesy mashed potatoes-which were really good--beef, lamb, hummus, falafel and a half of an artichoke which I had to have my friend actually show me how to eat. So dinner was quite an array of food items, but everything was so good.

After dinner is when the fun really began. I was watching the US soccer team get beaten by Mexico when one of the family dogs decided to scare the crap out of me which caused the mimosa in my hand to spill all over my pants. Which not only felt uncomfortable, but more importantly was a waste of perfectly good champagne. I spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around with massively wet pants feeling completely retarded, but that wasn't the best accident of the evening--not by far.

Llater on, after my friend's son was finished finding all of his Easter eggs, we were all watching TV. My friend gets up from the couch and goes to get something from the kitchen. I happen to look at where she had been sitting only to notice two big brown spots. Apparently after the egg finding, two of the chocolate eggs ended up under her on the couch. I casually call her back into the living room to see this mess. I then tell her to turn around...yep, there it was two massively large chocolate brown spots right on her ass. I pretty much lost it at that point b/c seriously, how could you not? We got most of the chocolate off, but the hilarity of the situation was not lost on her...I believe one of her first comments was 'You're not going to write about this on your blog, are you?'

Of course not...and by that I mean, you bet your chocolate stained ass I am.

Happy Easter!

Internet Radio
Today I decided to listen to Internet Radio off of Windows Media. I have it tuned to the 90's station. Here is a sample of the 90's music that I have heard today.

Usher's Confessions and Yeah
Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway and Since You've Been Gone
Eminem's Toy Soldiers (which I thought was the Martika version, but I was wrong)
Nelly Furtado's I'm Like a Bird (2000)
Britney Spears My Perogative and the remake of I Love Rock and Roll. (mixing a song older than the decade genre but recorded in the 00s does not equal out to 90s.

Songs actually from the 90's I heard
Salt n Pepa's Shoop
Live's Lightning Crashes
Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing
Alanis Morrisette's Isn't it Ironic

So, you can see that from this sampling, there are many songs from today that are being played on this station...I know the 90's had more music and perhaps I was just looking to be reminded of what kind of junk was out there. I mean, where are the Spice Girls? Chumbawumba? Early Backstreet Boys? Gin Blossoms? Pearl Jam? Nirvana? Paula Abdul (her first was 1988, but she released all her other stuff after 1990) These are the horrible types of songs that I was hoping to hear. Not the songs that I hear on the regular radio everyday.

Here we go...some Sheryl Crow...All I Wanna Do is listen to some bad 90's music...

The Scariest Thing By Far
was the sight of the bottom of my glass(es) of captain and coke last night at the bar.

How can it be my fault though, when the happy hour special at this place is buy one get one free--everyday from 5pm to 9pm? As long as you redeem your free drinks before 10pm! $3 Captain's and let me tell you, they were quite the generous pours. Not too good for my liver or my work productivity, but very good for my wallet. Except now that I think about it, I paid for the tab b/c my compatriot had left his wallet at our office.

Wait, I think I have been snookered. Oh well, he drives me into the office on quite a number of hungover occasions, so I guess this will just even us out then.

Have to go and do analyzation of data. Why did I take a job with analyst in the title? This is what plagues me today. Is it happy hour yet?

Things I saw in the last 12 hours that were scary.
In order of appearance...

Number one: Man wearing jean shorts. Yes, it was 57 degrees today, but it is now 9:30pm and freezing. There is no excuse for shorts and more importantly on a man? No excuse for jean shorts. Just. BAD.

Number two: A poor old Hispanic man on the bus this morning wearing a Delta Zeta sorority sweatshirt. The man had no idea what it meant, but the scary thing would be the reaction of a DZ sister if ever confronted with this sight.

Number three: A delivery truck touting the following items--eggs, frozen eggs, egg solids and egg liquids. These things should never be spoken of, much less advertised in big, bold lettering on the side of a truck. Ughhhhh...I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. Come to think of it, what are egg solids and egg liquids? Wait, I suppose I don't really want to know.