Cat People
Seriously, what is wrong with people?

Cat Woman

Tiger Man

Cat Woman link thanks to the lovely posters on Darren's Blog. The Tiger Man link thanks to my lovely friend Alexis.

PS--a co-worker just told me that I was so quiet. My little plan seems to be working. Me, quiet...who would have thought?

Winking: Not for Everyone
Apparently I have a problem. (yes, to those of you who know me who are thinking 'just one?' Shut.It.) Anyway, I seem to have picked up the habit of winking at people.

Let me clarify, this is not the type of wink that is associated with the 'batting of one's eye' to get someone's attention, but more so a wink of collaboration, a wink of understanding. I would also like to point out that this has NOTHING to do with the wink and gun gesture with the accompanying sound effects. That, I don't do.

It is not news to me that I do this. I am acutely aware of this type of behavior. What I was not aware of, however, was that it might make others uncomfortable, and by others, I mean myself.

I was in a co-worker's office yesterday discussing a huge issue with this website we are attempting to get up and running. We have been going back and forth with a third party to get things situated. During this discussion we finally came to a mutual agreement and I semi-subconciously winked at this gentleman. And then, HE CALLED ME OUT on it:
GCW: 'Did you know you just winked at me? I mean, it wasn't a tic or something, was it?'
Me: 'Ummm...yes, I do believe that was a wink. You know, to signify agreement. I didn't really mean anything by it. Except the agreement thing that I mentioned before. It is just something I do.' (In head thinking: boy that was embarrassing...can I just stop talking now?)
GCW: 'Ooooookay'
Me: 'I have to go now, so we're all set, right?'
GCW: 'According to the wink, we are.'
Me: 'Right, uh huh.' (Quickly leaves office to replay own idiocy in mind over and over again)

Now, the real question is do I temper my winking so as to avoid such incidents in the future? Is this even possible? I think I like the wink and I haven't had any issues up until this point. Wait, what if everyone I know talks about this as a chronic problem and this guy was just the first in a long line of people waiting to comment? 'Oh, you know that Morgan...man she winks a LOT. I wonder if there is something wrong with her...' Oh no, I think I have now discovered what I will be doing this weekend. Do you think I could get one of those contraptions used in A Clockwork Orange to not only keep me from winking, but blinking as well? I have to do some Internet research now.

Oscar Mayer
I know that I speak of food on this blog occasionally, what with my true loves of caesar salad bar and taco salad bar, but I have come here to tell you today that I finally ran across something that I did not immediately fall in love with.

Yesterday, I became acquainted with Hot Dog Bar. Now, I don't know about you, but whenever I smell hot dogs, they really smell good. I can think about what I would put on them and it just makes my mouth water. Chili, cheese etc...you know the drill. Wow, this is starting to sound good all over again. However, here is the problem. No matter where I am or what I put on the hot dog, about midway through eating it, I start to feel really ill. I have NO IDEA why this happens, but yesterday I realized it happens all the time when I eat a hot dog. The first half is so mouthwateringly delicious and then BAM it gets disgusting. Perhaps this is my body's way of telling me I should not be eating 'processed meat' wrapped in a casing (insert inappropriate joke here--wait I just said insert--ahem nevermind.)

The only time that I have eaten a hot dog and not felt as though I was going to be ill was one time in NYC when I was really drunk with my friend Cynthia. We got hot dogs from a vendor and they had this sauce on them that we swore was NOT ketchup--it was darker and less thick. Now, that tasted wonderful. It was so good, we were calling the sauce liquid crack. Of course, I can admit that perhaps being so drunk allowed for the hotdog to taste so fantastically good, but I really think there was something to that sauce. We never did figure out what it was and I have never run across a vendor who had anything similar.

So, perhaps now that I have made this realization about my hot dog eating habits, I will know next time NOT to frequent the Hot Dog Bar. Unless I figure out what that liquid crack stuff was. And, if anyone knows what I am talking about, please speak up. Oh man...I guess I am right back where I started. Still wanting something that will inevitably make me sick. Isn't that always the way?

Help! I need my daily dose of blogs!
Dear Bloggers,

Please help. I am in need of updated entries. All of the blogs that I read on a daily basis have begun to post in less frequently. Don't you know that we RELY on you to give us something to do when we just don't want to do our work? I realize that I am guilty of the exact thing I am upset about (although I am sure my reader(s) aren't as affected, because, well, I can count them on my fingers) and am working to remedy that situation.

Anyway, back to my plea: People, please, for the love of God, I need you to update your blogs. I want to have my mind taken away from worrying about direct mail pieces and printing costs, phone calls and office politics (at least my own). Please, please update more often. Your activities are much more exciting than anything at my place of business and you give me a sense that I am not alone in my dealings with a sea of complete idiots. Yes, I know I could just talk to my own friends for this type of reassurance and entertainment, but it is much harder to appear that you are working when you are talking on the phone as opposed to having your eyes glued intently to the computer.

And, why does it seem that everyone is busy at the same time? Is something happening in the cosmos to create an inability to post things? A universal glut of responsibilities to attend to before getting to the fun of blogging?

In any case, I love reading blog entries and I promise for those of you who do actually read this, that I will attempt to post more often than once per week and I encourage any of you out there who also have blogs to do the same. The Internet community needs you. I need you.

Sincerely,
Morgan (aka Harper Yates)

Work is Interrupting
my blogging plans. I swear, I think I have some funny stuff to write. At least I think it is funny. It is just that actual work keeps getting in the way. Don't y'all hate it when that happens? I know I do. Stay tuned. Hopefully something good is coming down the road.

I know I have a blog dedication to my friend Alexis coming up. Perhaps I should call one of my favorite DJs on the adult contemporary circuit, Glenn Hollis or Delilah for some help with this very special dedication. Or I could go all the way to the top and just see what Casey Kasem is doing these days. Speaking of that, does anyone know?

The move, she is over...
the unpacking, she is not.

I finally got all of my junk moved two tenths of a mile up the street as of last Monday. Here are some things I learned:

None of us can move anything while laughing
I have way too much of everything, especially clothes
I have some great friends who volunteered to help me move
I have some shady friends who at least provided entertainment for us while we were moving in the form of balcony dancing with a chocotaco
My roommate can gather 3 trucks for moving, including labor, with 12 hours notice
Drinking chocolate milk from a diner at warp speed while hungover will make you sick
Many men will purchase tickets to the gun show
Never be the first person to pass out in a group of drunks
Do not look up when someone is singing Pour Some Sugar On Me, as you might get sugar packet in the eye
High fives are indeed back
as is wall dancing
Going back to Georgetown is not all that hard when you are in Georgetown
Some women do not like to be referred to as gophers
Everyone can enjoy amazing Spring days
New friends can be just as fun as old ones
Virginia cab drivers do not allow you to take beer in their cabs (well some of them do)
You can indeed convince other bar patrons that you and the other three girls you are with are lesbians who get it on with the one male in the group who is also related to some of us. Seriously
AND
I am never moving again. EVER.

All in all still a fabulous weekend, though. And for those in the know...Seriously. Kill yourself.

Moving
Well, I am moving this weekend. Not anywhere too far from my current abode, but it will certainly be a change for me. See, I have lived in the same building for the past four and a half years, which is a long time. The last two and a half of which I have lived alone.

We can pick up the keys to the new apartment today, which I am looking forward to, but am also a little apprehensive about. I love my future roommate to death, but I also love my space. As stated above, I have had my own space for a couple of years now and while I know I will have a blast living with my friend, I am a bit sad to leave my current apartment. She was certainly good to me and I will be sorry to say my final goodbyes on Monday.

I guess the move is indicative of how things are and have been changing in my life recently. Not so much for me personally but for my group of friends in general. New jobs, new husbands, new babies and new geographic locations to name a few. I know that change is an important part of growing up, but sometimes I just feel as though I want everything to stay the same. I have had such great memories while living in that building. Parties, sleepovers, hangovers, karaoke competitions, drinks with cab drivers in the lobby at 3am, the horrible elevators, the way you have to turn your shower on about 15 minutes before you plan to use it, TV nights, balcony action, friends coming to visit, the busybody woman that works at the front desk. There are just so many things that I am going to miss.

I suppose we all feel the same about change. Looking forward to it with 2 parts excitement and 1 part trepidation. I know I am going to have a great time in my new apt building and with my new roommate, but for me, this move signifies the end of an era, sort of like a bookend on this part of my life. I certainly wouldn't have been able to survive without the friends that I have had for the last 5 years. I know that no matter where we all end up, we will always stay friends.

So, while we are all taking a step forward, I hope we can take at least one night to take a step back and remember all the fun times that we have had. I know there more awesome memories to be made with new friends and old friends alike and I look forward to those, but a little part of me will always wish things would stay the same.

Is it happy hour yet? All this serious thinking is making me thirsty. Along with these pretzels.

Mary Kay -- Enriching Women's Lives*
Tuesday night I had quite an array of experiences, beginning with a trip to a local high school for a Mary Kay 'Success' Party where I was to get a facial and a makeover.

Let me set the scene. I had agreed to go with my friend Alexis as she was doing a favor for another friend. (Isn't that how these things always go?) In any case, we arrive at the high school a little bit early and head to the restrooms immediately. I have to say, either high school kids are getting shorter or I somehow grew an awful lot in the 10 years from graduation until now b/c those stalls were short. Alexis and I could see each others shoulders when standing up in our own stalls. (please note, I am only 5'5 on a good day) After the bathroom, we began to wander down the hall to find the room we were supposed to meet in.

When we get there, there is a lovely woman there to greet us wearing these massive sunglasses with the letters MK on them in rhinestones. She was very peppy. We then saw Alexis's friend and were told that we were the first ones there and just to have seat and fill out the rest of these cards, which we did. The first thing we noticed was that everyone we saw was a Mary Kay rep and they were insanely peppy. As we sit there, we start to wonder where all the other non-MK women were? Turns out, we were experiencing, as stated above, a 'success' meeting. Which is basically a time when the local reps get together and clap and rejoice over that month's sales, etc.

This rejoicing includes, but is not limited to the following:
jumping up and down
squeals of delight
excessive clapping
tiaras
banner sashes w/titles
hand raising
mock stage walking, complete with Miss America waves
passing around of diva sunglasses for all to try on (this was mandatory)
music--C&C Music Factory, Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen, The Pointer Sisters

Now, I admit that while I do enjoy learning about new body/face care products, I do not enjoy the whole scene of excessive happiness and joy. Especially when it seems like everyone else in the room has bogarted the kool-aid and left none for the rest of us.

We get into the actual presentation--at least our part, which includes 'washing' our faces half and half with two separate cleansers and then applying our own make-up! Now, that is not a make-over. At least as far as I am concerned. (PS, my parents used to own a Body Shop skin and haircare store so I do know a bit about the industry. Can't someone else do my make-up?) So, under the fabulous science lab florescent lighting, we set to apply our make up from cardboard handout samples. Needless to say, we ended up looking a bit clownish b/c how do you really put on blush with something other than a good brush?

Once we got through all the make-up and were ready to complete the evening, we were told we now had to model for the other 4 MK ladies. So, we had to get up in front of the room, with our clown make-up. They also made us do the Miss America wave. It was disturbing and not at all embarrassing. At. All.

We totally thought we could go home after that. Wrong. We were asked to stand and go around the room and tell everyone something that we were excited about. While listening to 'I'm So Excited'--I mean, was I in the twilight zone? Who really does this? Apparently the folks at MK, do. (Note: I was excited about moving. Alexis: softball starting)The whole event was so surreal and not like the kind of MK parties I had been to in the past b/c we were outnumbered 2 to 1 by consultants. It was wacky. And too peppy. I just don't trust people that are so excited about inanimate objects and seemingly on speed. Just something about it that is off-putting to me. Although I am sure my alcohol intake might be off-putting to some, so I guess to each her own.

The good news is that the evening of 'pampering' was balanced by having to fix a flat tire at 9:30pm thanks to the nail that apparently pierced Alexis's tire.

*This is in no way a slam on the products or the individuals who we met. All were very nice...although perhaps too nice...

I will pay the entire tab IF
you can tell me who sings 'Once Bitten Twice Shy'

This is what Molly stated to us about halfway through the 80's hair band evening that was Toxic Mouse. And believe me, this was not to be taken lightly. Ordering two rounds at once for $4 a beer over 5 hours, we knew the gauntlet had been thrown.

Lucy made a couple guesses which were incorrect. I attempted to employ the assistance of another patron in hopes that Molly was already too drunk and/or to enthralled with the hair band shenanigans that she wouldn't notice. Unfortunately I was wrong. She totally caught me and stated that I was disqualified.

I can say for a fact that this was the only low point in an evening filled with 80's hair band goodness. The bass guitarist was Asian, the lead singer was African American, the lead guitarist was really old and the drummer seemed to be having a LOT of trouble with his Gene Simmons wig. All that being said, this was by far one of the best evenings of my whole life. They knew how to ROCK! They played for over 2 hours. The best songs from groups like Guns N Roses, Def Leppard, Living Colour, Bon Jovi, Motley Crue, Whitesnake, Van Halen, Skid Row and of course the answer to the original question, Great White.

This band really went all out, the clothes, the atmosphere, even the microphones had those long ribbon things tied to them that you always saw back in the day. The evening was only enhanced by the sheer joy that Molly was getting out of seeing these songs performed live. It was like going to all these concerts at once! Now, even though she would have enjoyed hearing more Skid Row, she wholeheartedly proclaimed the evening as 'The greatest night of my whole life.'

I highly recommend getting to one of their shows. It was really awesome. What I don't necessarily recommend is double fisting on a tab, as even though the show was cheap with $10 admission, the $165 tab was a little excessive. But hey, wasn't that what the 80's were about anyway?

Move Over Caesar
So, for the 6 of you that read this, you know that I have a love for the Caesar salad bar and that love is a great one.

However, today I met a new interest. Taco salad bar. I don't know if it will last, but you TSB have certainly been good to me this afternoon. With your crispy tortilla chip goodness, your queso, your carne and your ranch dressing (and no, I don't know the spanish for ranch dressing.)

You have made my hangover go away and for that, I thank you.