Public Transportation
This morning was a slow one for me as I got up a little later than usual and was not feeling 100%. This certainly didn't prepare me for what I encountered on the bus ride to the metro station.

I am sitting towards the back, minding my own business, when this guy gets on the bus wearing clothing with the names of different American cities plastered everywhere and a hat that promoted the Olympics. Now this was a real patriot, I thought. Seriously, it looked like one of the souvenir kiosks from the airport threw up on him.

In any case, I was sitting there peacefully as he chose the seat in front of mine. About two minutes go by and that is when I hear it. The unmistakable snipping sound of nail clippers. No, it couldn't be. Who would do that in public, much less on a bus? An enclosed space with strangers? No way. A few more snips go by. Oh my god...he is clipping his nails.

YUCK. This was certainly not what my stomach needed this morning. There was no escaping the sound. Snip. Snip. Snip. With each snip, I got more and more sick. I looked around and it seemed as though not one other person on the bus noticed this man going to town on his fingernails. How could they not hear it? I looked at the woman across from me and longed to have her headphones. At least she had a reason for not noticing this man. I considered getting off the bus, but I was already late, so I moved a couple of seats away. I COULD STILL HEAR IT.

SNIP.

SNIP.

SNIP.

My god...how long could this go on? How much fingernail is he going to have left. It had been 5 minutes. OF SNIPPING. Did I mention we were on a bus? IN PUBLIC? Where are all the clippings going to go? I am positive he wasn't collecting them. What about the poor person who sits in that seat later in the day. Only to be accosted by Mr. Patriot's nail clippings. I suppose I should be happy he was grooming himself, but is it really necessary to do so on the bus? This was worse than the time that some woman took her shoes off, ON THE BUS, and put them up on the seat in front of her.

Again, what is wrong with people? The bus is full of germs and gross things...like nail clippings. Oh...I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. I have to start making more money so I don't have to take the bus anymore. GROSS.

I'm Going Blind
At least that is what I thought when I had my annual (and by annual I mean my triannual) visit to the eye doctor today.

Everything started out just fine. I went in, sat down in the little chair, ready to have that blast of air shot into each of my eyes. See, in the past, this had been the most stressful part of the eye doctor for me. I just don't like it. Not that it is painful, but the anticipation of when that blast of air is going to shoot in my eye pretty much drives me crazy. Well, little did I know the air blast would be the least of my worries.

The next test was to determine if there were any problems with my peripheral vision. You look through one eye and focus on this black dot and click a button when you see lines moving in your peripheral vision. Not too hard, right? Riiiight. When we were doing my right eye I didn't have many problems but I constantly worried that I was missing some and began to sweat a bit due to the pressure. Then it really got tough. On to the left eye. Same thing happened with the pressure, but what I wasn't counting on was this darkness that kept seeping into my vision field and by darkness, I mean completely black as if my eyes were closed.

Then I really started to freak out. What was going on? Was I seeing all of the little blips I was supposed to? Why was my vision deteriorating just from sitting in that chair? Why couldn't I focus on that damn dot? "This is what happens when you don't go to the eye doctor when you are supposed to and wear your two week disposable contacts for the better part of 4 months," I hear every eye doctor I have ever had echo in my brain.

The test ended and I waited for the doctor. He did ask me some questions...was I having problems with my vision, etc...I told him that no, it was not until I was being tested that I began to go have trouble. As I am sure any of you with a brain or a similar experience (or both) know, he explained that I was seeing black because my dominant eye was trying to take over and since it saw black, it tried to tell my left eye that was what it should see as well. So...whew...I am not going blind. Yet. He did chide me a little about not having been back in so long, but at least he put my fears of sudden blindness to rest. And I thought going to the gyno was stressful.

Work
For the past couple of months at work, things have been massively hectic. There is a big reorganization and all sorts of changes are taking place.

The issue? I seem to be stressing out way too much concerning this. I just have so much to do that my brain almost shuts down b/c it doesn't know where to begin. Today for example, I was able to cross 4 things off of my task list, only to add 5. We keep hiring new people, but they are all higher ups and it just seems like things just keep rolling downhill. I know that my job is a very good one and I am thankful to have it, but seriously I am starting to freak out. Today I was almost brought to tears from the frustration. TWICE.

I am sure some of you are saying...well, if you are so busy, then why are you taking the time to post. My answer to you? Shut. It. In all seriousness, I needed a little break from my list and thought that perhaps by chronicling some of my frustrations they would cease to bother me. I suppose only time will tell if this is the case.

In any event, I was fortunate enough to hear from a dear friend today that did brighten up my mood some. I am sure that this, like many things will pass, but damn if it doesn't seem like the most frustrating thing right now. Is it a bad thing when your boss comes in and tells you that you look exhausted? I thought so. Perhaps I should have winked at her...

Cat People
Seriously, what is wrong with people?

Cat Woman

Tiger Man

Cat Woman link thanks to the lovely posters on Darren's Blog. The Tiger Man link thanks to my lovely friend Alexis.

PS--a co-worker just told me that I was so quiet. My little plan seems to be working. Me, quiet...who would have thought?

Winking: Not for Everyone
Apparently I have a problem. (yes, to those of you who know me who are thinking 'just one?' Shut.It.) Anyway, I seem to have picked up the habit of winking at people.

Let me clarify, this is not the type of wink that is associated with the 'batting of one's eye' to get someone's attention, but more so a wink of collaboration, a wink of understanding. I would also like to point out that this has NOTHING to do with the wink and gun gesture with the accompanying sound effects. That, I don't do.

It is not news to me that I do this. I am acutely aware of this type of behavior. What I was not aware of, however, was that it might make others uncomfortable, and by others, I mean myself.

I was in a co-worker's office yesterday discussing a huge issue with this website we are attempting to get up and running. We have been going back and forth with a third party to get things situated. During this discussion we finally came to a mutual agreement and I semi-subconciously winked at this gentleman. And then, HE CALLED ME OUT on it:
GCW: 'Did you know you just winked at me? I mean, it wasn't a tic or something, was it?'
Me: 'Ummm...yes, I do believe that was a wink. You know, to signify agreement. I didn't really mean anything by it. Except the agreement thing that I mentioned before. It is just something I do.' (In head thinking: boy that was embarrassing...can I just stop talking now?)
GCW: 'Ooooookay'
Me: 'I have to go now, so we're all set, right?'
GCW: 'According to the wink, we are.'
Me: 'Right, uh huh.' (Quickly leaves office to replay own idiocy in mind over and over again)

Now, the real question is do I temper my winking so as to avoid such incidents in the future? Is this even possible? I think I like the wink and I haven't had any issues up until this point. Wait, what if everyone I know talks about this as a chronic problem and this guy was just the first in a long line of people waiting to comment? 'Oh, you know that Morgan...man she winks a LOT. I wonder if there is something wrong with her...' Oh no, I think I have now discovered what I will be doing this weekend. Do you think I could get one of those contraptions used in A Clockwork Orange to not only keep me from winking, but blinking as well? I have to do some Internet research now.

Oscar Mayer
I know that I speak of food on this blog occasionally, what with my true loves of caesar salad bar and taco salad bar, but I have come here to tell you today that I finally ran across something that I did not immediately fall in love with.

Yesterday, I became acquainted with Hot Dog Bar. Now, I don't know about you, but whenever I smell hot dogs, they really smell good. I can think about what I would put on them and it just makes my mouth water. Chili, cheese etc...you know the drill. Wow, this is starting to sound good all over again. However, here is the problem. No matter where I am or what I put on the hot dog, about midway through eating it, I start to feel really ill. I have NO IDEA why this happens, but yesterday I realized it happens all the time when I eat a hot dog. The first half is so mouthwateringly delicious and then BAM it gets disgusting. Perhaps this is my body's way of telling me I should not be eating 'processed meat' wrapped in a casing (insert inappropriate joke here--wait I just said insert--ahem nevermind.)

The only time that I have eaten a hot dog and not felt as though I was going to be ill was one time in NYC when I was really drunk with my friend Cynthia. We got hot dogs from a vendor and they had this sauce on them that we swore was NOT ketchup--it was darker and less thick. Now, that tasted wonderful. It was so good, we were calling the sauce liquid crack. Of course, I can admit that perhaps being so drunk allowed for the hotdog to taste so fantastically good, but I really think there was something to that sauce. We never did figure out what it was and I have never run across a vendor who had anything similar.

So, perhaps now that I have made this realization about my hot dog eating habits, I will know next time NOT to frequent the Hot Dog Bar. Unless I figure out what that liquid crack stuff was. And, if anyone knows what I am talking about, please speak up. Oh man...I guess I am right back where I started. Still wanting something that will inevitably make me sick. Isn't that always the way?

Help! I need my daily dose of blogs!
Dear Bloggers,

Please help. I am in need of updated entries. All of the blogs that I read on a daily basis have begun to post in less frequently. Don't you know that we RELY on you to give us something to do when we just don't want to do our work? I realize that I am guilty of the exact thing I am upset about (although I am sure my reader(s) aren't as affected, because, well, I can count them on my fingers) and am working to remedy that situation.

Anyway, back to my plea: People, please, for the love of God, I need you to update your blogs. I want to have my mind taken away from worrying about direct mail pieces and printing costs, phone calls and office politics (at least my own). Please, please update more often. Your activities are much more exciting than anything at my place of business and you give me a sense that I am not alone in my dealings with a sea of complete idiots. Yes, I know I could just talk to my own friends for this type of reassurance and entertainment, but it is much harder to appear that you are working when you are talking on the phone as opposed to having your eyes glued intently to the computer.

And, why does it seem that everyone is busy at the same time? Is something happening in the cosmos to create an inability to post things? A universal glut of responsibilities to attend to before getting to the fun of blogging?

In any case, I love reading blog entries and I promise for those of you who do actually read this, that I will attempt to post more often than once per week and I encourage any of you out there who also have blogs to do the same. The Internet community needs you. I need you.

Sincerely,
Morgan (aka Harper Yates)

Work is Interrupting
my blogging plans. I swear, I think I have some funny stuff to write. At least I think it is funny. It is just that actual work keeps getting in the way. Don't y'all hate it when that happens? I know I do. Stay tuned. Hopefully something good is coming down the road.

I know I have a blog dedication to my friend Alexis coming up. Perhaps I should call one of my favorite DJs on the adult contemporary circuit, Glenn Hollis or Delilah for some help with this very special dedication. Or I could go all the way to the top and just see what Casey Kasem is doing these days. Speaking of that, does anyone know?

The move, she is over...
the unpacking, she is not.

I finally got all of my junk moved two tenths of a mile up the street as of last Monday. Here are some things I learned:

None of us can move anything while laughing
I have way too much of everything, especially clothes
I have some great friends who volunteered to help me move
I have some shady friends who at least provided entertainment for us while we were moving in the form of balcony dancing with a chocotaco
My roommate can gather 3 trucks for moving, including labor, with 12 hours notice
Drinking chocolate milk from a diner at warp speed while hungover will make you sick
Many men will purchase tickets to the gun show
Never be the first person to pass out in a group of drunks
Do not look up when someone is singing Pour Some Sugar On Me, as you might get sugar packet in the eye
High fives are indeed back
as is wall dancing
Going back to Georgetown is not all that hard when you are in Georgetown
Some women do not like to be referred to as gophers
Everyone can enjoy amazing Spring days
New friends can be just as fun as old ones
Virginia cab drivers do not allow you to take beer in their cabs (well some of them do)
You can indeed convince other bar patrons that you and the other three girls you are with are lesbians who get it on with the one male in the group who is also related to some of us. Seriously
AND
I am never moving again. EVER.

All in all still a fabulous weekend, though. And for those in the know...Seriously. Kill yourself.

Moving
Well, I am moving this weekend. Not anywhere too far from my current abode, but it will certainly be a change for me. See, I have lived in the same building for the past four and a half years, which is a long time. The last two and a half of which I have lived alone.

We can pick up the keys to the new apartment today, which I am looking forward to, but am also a little apprehensive about. I love my future roommate to death, but I also love my space. As stated above, I have had my own space for a couple of years now and while I know I will have a blast living with my friend, I am a bit sad to leave my current apartment. She was certainly good to me and I will be sorry to say my final goodbyes on Monday.

I guess the move is indicative of how things are and have been changing in my life recently. Not so much for me personally but for my group of friends in general. New jobs, new husbands, new babies and new geographic locations to name a few. I know that change is an important part of growing up, but sometimes I just feel as though I want everything to stay the same. I have had such great memories while living in that building. Parties, sleepovers, hangovers, karaoke competitions, drinks with cab drivers in the lobby at 3am, the horrible elevators, the way you have to turn your shower on about 15 minutes before you plan to use it, TV nights, balcony action, friends coming to visit, the busybody woman that works at the front desk. There are just so many things that I am going to miss.

I suppose we all feel the same about change. Looking forward to it with 2 parts excitement and 1 part trepidation. I know I am going to have a great time in my new apt building and with my new roommate, but for me, this move signifies the end of an era, sort of like a bookend on this part of my life. I certainly wouldn't have been able to survive without the friends that I have had for the last 5 years. I know that no matter where we all end up, we will always stay friends.

So, while we are all taking a step forward, I hope we can take at least one night to take a step back and remember all the fun times that we have had. I know there more awesome memories to be made with new friends and old friends alike and I look forward to those, but a little part of me will always wish things would stay the same.

Is it happy hour yet? All this serious thinking is making me thirsty. Along with these pretzels.