Peering into my mailbox last night I notice a letter from my mother. At first, I assume it is something good, it's from my mom and it's a real letter and it's heavy! I tear into it in the elevator, I just can't wait to see what it is. I carefully unfold the papers, only to realize that my mother has sent me her LIVING WILL. No forewarning, nothing. Just these two pieces of paper designating my sister as her surrogate with me as the alternate.
Well, this isn't what I was expecting, although there is a little note explaining that even though my sister has been designated, my mom expects all decisions to be made jointly and that I should file this with my important papers (which include a plastic sheet which houses my birth certificate and passport stuffed in my dresser.)
I immediately call my sister to complain about being ambushed by something of this nature.
Me: Know what you don't want to get in the mail?
Sister: What are you talking about?
Me: Ummm...our mother's living will!
Sister: Oh, yeah, I knew about that.
Me: Why didn't anyone mention it to me?
Sister: She didn't? Oh well.
Me: By the way, since you are older, you have to make all the decisions.
Sister: Wait, what? That isn't fair...
Me: Who said life was fair? You were born first and went to Europe.
Sister: Well, you got to go skiing three times.
Me: Fine...whatever. Why are we talking about this again?
Sister: Because our mom is nuts and didn't tell you about her living will.
Me: Damn Terri Schiavo.
Posted by Morgan
at 11:44 AM EDT